IX (B) SQN – MISSIVE FROM TELIC

Website Update – 9 January 2009

Welcome to the IX(B) Sqn update from TELIC bringing news of our Christmas and New Year festivities celebrated in our own inimitable way in the desert. The excitement levels visibly heightened on Christmas Eve when we were greeted by Santa and his unconventional sleigh (Nissan 6-Pack) bearing gifts. There were extraordinarily bountiful gift boxes from RAFA and UK4u. This was boosted by kind gifts to all the trades from Diane in the Sqn Registry. In addition, everyone received a much appreciated phone card from RAF Marham inside a personally signed Christmas card from Group Captain Basnett. This all went rather festively with the giant Christmas card from the Dereham Branch of RAFA. We were all very touched by the generosity and very grateful for your kind thoughts at this time of the year; some have already booked their dental appointments early to avoid the rush. To round things off, our HAS Site neighbours, The US Patron Det, kindly invited us to a Christmas Eve BBQ.

Christmas Day commenced with a Squadron Photo complete with Santa. Following this, A Shift knocked off from Night Shift, leaving B Shift to hold the fort, and the lads were able to snatch a chance to raise a glass/bottle. It was slightly surreal to be sat in the balmy 25ºC sunshine surrounded by people eating breakfast! After the obligatory 3 strikes on the beer card everyone was off to bed for a well earned day’s sleep before heading back to work on Christmas Night. Comical interlude was provided by ‘Biggin’ Hill and ‘Spud Gun’ Stride with their panda eyed suntans that evening. B Shift was able to celebrate in a more traditional sense in the Oasis (Brit Bar) in the evening. The Sqn Boss, joined by Freebs, managed to raise a substantial sum for the Help For Heroes Charity by getting their hair cropped to a Grade 1ish. Judy Garland won the privilege of manipulating the clippers by donating the highest bid. Unfortunately for the Boss, Judy’s skill with the clippers and flair for hairdressing were not in keeping with his choice of car. After one too many enquiries about the proximity of his house to a nuclear power plant, the Boss decided to go to the professionals to equalise what remained of his luxuriant locks. Fortunately for the Boss, his live interview was with Radio Norfolk and not BBC Look East!

Boxing Day was a well earned day off and allowed the whole Sqn to meet at the Oasis for the BBQ, Christmas Draw and entertainment. A big thanks to the SEngO for pitching in with the cooking and the following day’s cleaning, he did an amazing job with the melon starter. Daz Pybus got greedy with the Christmas Draw dashing off with 2 prizes. Overall it was a fantastic night rounded off to a spectacular conclusion with Gav Jackson and Mal Bellis showing the US band how Brits dance.

The conclusion of the December football league was a hard fought affair. Two of the Sqn’s teams. Tordet Ops and Four Candles, reached the Semi Finals before conceding defeat. This was no mean feat considering the high standard of the 17 teams that started the competition. However, victory was at IX(B) Sqn’s door with 2 outstanding victories by Si Hutchins. The first was in the Al Udeid Half Marathon. Si settled behind a US racer who had set a blistering pace. Race tactics took over and Si took his time assuming that the race leader, being rather well built for a runner, would flag towards the end. It was during the last few miles that Si noticed the Iron Man tattoo on the race leader’s leg. Not to be phased by this psychological barrier, Si pushed on to overtake and took the race in a personal best of 1 hour 18 minutes. Si then switched the psychological game by relaxing with a post race cigarette as the vanquished Iron Man crossed the line, closely followed by Heed in an impressive third. The second occasion was on Christmas Day when Si easily won the 5 km Fun Run wearing a pair of furry antlers.

Though working long hours almost everyday, we have been lucky enough to get the odd day off to unwind. Unfortunately for the Dream Team of A Shift, one of the days off coincided with a Friday. The illustrious RAF Police decided that the Muslim holy day was sacrosanct and refused to let the lads off camp. Alas, Qatar will never know what it missed.

Another proud achievement during the last couple of weeks was Steve Burke’s accolade with the successful nomination of ‘Warrior of the Week’ in the USAAF news sheet The Desert Eagle. Upon hearing of his success, a tearful Steve pledged that he hopes to travel the world and help defenceless animals.

Other issues of note are:

• Muddy has found his forte in life. On leaving the Service he plans to replace the Ikea robot and test seats to destruction in Sweden.

• Walt Disney, the new Flight Sergeant in charge of discipline, leapt into action soon after arriving and closed the British accommodation’s smoking pagodas for illegal littering. Leaving no stone unturned he wrapped the offending area in CSI style SOC tape before analysing all the evidence and coming to no conclusion. The smoking area opened for business as normal the next day and we can all sleep safely in our beds.

• Woody celebrated his ‘last’ flight with a hearty plate of jalapenos; all that was left was a no-fly day then trooper home. He wasn’t amused to be rudely awoken in the early hours of the next morning for an extra tasking. After first obtaining an ice cube to deal with his dragon’s nostril, he was fighting fit in finest spirit of IX(B) Sqn’s aviators.

• The Boss has performed trials on behalf of Boscombe Down to test the efficacy of a new ammonia based cleaning solution for the Tornado ejection seat.

That’s all for now.

I will endeavour to bring you another update soon.

Squadron Photos from Christmas and Boxing Day shown below.